Category: sketches

I can barely believe how beautiful this little girl is growing up to be. Her eyes are mesmerizing. She’s almost as tall as i am. AND she can throw a mean punch, notices all the things I overlook, and is learning to chill and enjoy the world for everything it is. I had such an amazing weekend with her.

I got to see a day where she felt beautiful, special, valued. Her eyes lit up when I let her wear my garb and dressed her kind of almost grown-up-y-ish. And again that same wide eyed, almost disbelieving smile when she saw her first Ren Faire store filled with tiaras and crowns. And that look of ‘I’m totally in shock but trying so hard to adult right now’ when I said she could select a treasure because she had been working so hard lately. She wasn’t expecting it all. She hadn’t asked. She knew it was out of budget. Shiny and gaudy and everything a little girl’s dreams are made of (except unicorns, fairies, twirly skirts, scotch tape, glue, robots with laser eyes that would do whatever you told them, a flash light and a screw driver of your very own). Of course we couldn’t afford it. Why think she could have those. She tried on every pair of these clip on ears. We’re all dying of boredom but she was so excited she had to do this all with the most extreme care. “This is the last pair you get to try, we need to get going.” And we were all soaked to the bone, muddy, irritable, but she was in her world. And this moment was so genuine, perfect and sweet that we couldn’t bare to ruin it with our impatience. Having carefully weighed her options, compared colors, styles, and weights. She had us put away the tiara. Checked, double checked, rechecked… finally she made a choice. And we were so relieved. But this was such an amazing moment. And she was waiting watching. Hating that the treasures were out of her hands. Hoping the cashier would be gentle because they were so fragile and what if they broke before they were hers. Timorously peeking over the counter. “No I don’t need a box, I’ll wear them, thank you.”

I watched her adjust her new jewelry about 10,875 times just for an excuse to touch them. The chin at an upward angle. Mimicking my walk… just a tiny little whole lot.

She felt like a ‘woman.’ Whatever that is in her world. I can’t tell you even what that meant to me in that same moment 25 (?) years ago.

I feel like being a woman meant things like walking on tiptoes, wearing too much makeup, and having a real life gold necklace. I wonder if it’s the same for her. Some romanticized notion so far removed from my real experiences that i try to prepare her? No way to know.

But yeah. I remember that moment. It was amazing when i felt it. It was more amazing watching my daughter feel it.
I think it’s the most i have ever related to her as a person. I dunno. Maybe I’m crazy, but i think it’s a rite of passage moment.