I know the layout is a bit off. PigTailz wasn’t meant to be a comic, wasn’t meant to be published. After it was written, Little Bear pushed me to do something with it. It began as the story of a deep sorrow and two broken hearts. A last attempt to tell someone they were loved when they were terrified. It was so sad that I couldn’t even go back and redraw the boards for the real ending any more than I could let PigTailz end her story there. So I had to make new adventures, give her a new life.
Maybe she will find love. Maybe love will find her. But probably not. Because this is not a story about being loved. Her story is about strength, adventure, and being there for others. Her story is about waking up and deciding to live. Every. Single. Day.
But one way or another, she will have many more adventures with little bear. Many more chances to touch the lives of others. And to rise again from the ashes.
I can barely believe how beautiful this little girl is growing up to be. Her eyes are mesmerizing. She’s almost as tall as i am. AND she can throw a mean punch, notices all the things I overlook, and is learning to chill and enjoy the world for everything it is. I had such an amazing… Continue reading PigTailz ‘n’ Little Bear
I can barely believe how beautiful this little girl is growing up to be. Her eyes are mesmerizing. She’s almost as tall as i am. AND she can throw a mean punch, notices all the things I overlook, and is learning to chill and enjoy the world for everything it is. I had such an amazing weekend with her.
I got to see a day where she felt beautiful, special, valued. Her eyes lit up when I let her wear my garb and dressed her kind of almost grown-up-y-ish. And again that same wide eyed, almost disbelieving smile when she saw her first Ren Faire store filled with tiaras and crowns. And that look of ‘I’m totally in shock but trying so hard to adult right now’ when I said she could select a treasure because she had been working so hard lately. She wasn’t expecting it all. She hadn’t asked. She knew it was out of budget. Shiny and gaudy and everything a little girl’s dreams are made of (except unicorns, fairies, twirly skirts, scotch tape, glue, robots with laser eyes that would do whatever you told them, a flash light and a screw driver of your very own). Of course we couldn’t afford it. Why think she could have those. She tried on every pair of these clip on ears. We’re all dying of boredom but she was so excited she had to do this all with the most extreme care. “This is the last pair you get to try, we need to get going.” And we were all soaked to the bone, muddy, irritable, but she was in her world. And this moment was so genuine, perfect and sweet that we couldn’t bare to ruin it with our impatience. Having carefully weighed her options, compared colors, styles, and weights. She had us put away the tiara. Checked, double checked, rechecked… finally she made a choice. And we were so relieved. But this was such an amazing moment. And she was waiting watching. Hating that the treasures were out of her hands. Hoping the cashier would be gentle because they were so fragile and what if they broke before they were hers. Timorously peeking over the counter. “No I don’t need a box, I’ll wear them, thank you.”
I watched her adjust her new jewelry about 10,875 times just for an excuse to touch them. The chin at an upward angle. Mimicking my walk… just a tiny little whole lot.
She felt like a ‘woman.’ Whatever that is in her world. I can’t tell you even what that meant to me in that same moment 25 (?) years ago.
I feel like being a woman meant things like walking on tiptoes, wearing too much makeup, and having a real life gold necklace. I wonder if it’s the same for her. Some romanticized notion so far removed from my real experiences that i try to prepare her? No way to know.
But yeah. I remember that moment. It was amazing when i felt it. It was more amazing watching my daughter feel it.
I think it’s the most i have ever related to her as a person. I dunno. Maybe I’m crazy, but i think it’s a rite of passage moment.
I took Little Bear to watch the Perseid Meteor Shower with very little light pollution. It was just the two of us camping, the sky was so clear, the night so cold, and the smores so delicious. Absolute magic.
I spent most of my time in the water here. There were small waves entertaining the local surfers and tourists. I was happy to find the beach was sandy and I didn’t need shoes to avoid sea urchins. I snorkeled around a little bit and found some life. I saw a few octopuses, puffer fish, and even a sea turtle.
Every day after swimming, I would stop up to Uma’s for a drink and too much to eat. The food here was seriously so good, I visited the place three times in an effort to try everything on the menu. The boasted an amazing vegetarian menu, the best mojitos, and bartender that picked fresh fruits for drink creations on their way into work. I don’t even like food.
Found a beautiful place called Cueva del Indio. It appears in Pirates of the Caribbean and Goonies. It’s not that easy to find actually. You start in a privately owned parking lot, that looks like any other gated coastal property. You have to buy a ticket for the day and pay to park. The ticket vendors are set up between a couple of booths where you can find jewelry and touristy delights.
I think I spent half the day chasing the wildlife trying to catch a photo. There were birds, giant hermit crabs, and many types of lizards. The lizards were not really into modeling I guess. And I had to keep my shoes on because of the sea urchins.
Even found some petroglyphs among the rocks.
The views were absolutely breathtaking and I can see why movies are filmed here. The beaches are a bit too rocky for casual swimming, but it’s an amazing place to climb around and explore.
Even a place deemed safe by cliff divers. It’s jump at your own risk, but it was pretty neat to watch.
The last stop was Flagler Beach. We received a historical tour of the John Anderson Highway and Tomoka State Park area. And had a wonderful chance to check out the local wild life. My aunt and uncle live right next to a state park and encounter tons of wild life right in their own back yard.
Armadillo (aka dinosaur bunny)
I would love this to be my view every morning.
Apparently my uncle gets pretty excited about the wild life and the remains he finds lying about. He was very proud to show me the wild boar skull he found.
I was not so excited by the enormous banana spiders.
The town of Flagler Beach has grown quite a lot since I was young, but it has maintained the small beach town feel. The shops are all still thriving, everyone still congregates at the pier.
Most importantly, the beach is still beautiful. My uncle gave us some surfing lessons in the afternoon.
After the beach we went and got cleaned up and went to dinner at the Flagler Fish Company. Every bite was absolutely divine. We tried the Steamed Muscles, the Shrimp Cocktail, Blackened Grouper, Tuna Salad, Seared Tuna Steak, and Crab legs. We had the Asiago Potatoes and Green beans, the and the sauteed spinach as our sides.
After dinner it was time for a midnight swim under the full moon. My uncle took us back to the beach for a short excursion. The water was still warm and the weather perfect for a little dip to end an awesome adventure.
A few months after we left, my uncle sent this picture of the highway near the beach. The hurricane wasn’t feeling too friendly after I left.
PigTailz 